Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
