Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
