i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
