Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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