I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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