are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
