JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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