i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
