you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
