my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
