i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
