Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
