Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
