I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Randomize
