Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
