if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
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