So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Randomize
