You made me cry and you don't even care
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
