she peed on how many people?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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