i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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