so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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