I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
