One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
