Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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