we have pet lesbian snakes
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
