what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
