im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
