Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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