I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
