She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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