on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
