shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
