C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
smell my finger.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
