literally had 100 drinks last night.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
