i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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