I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
How's work?
Spinning.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
