don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
