Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
