dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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