So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
