I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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