Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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