At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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