I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
