We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
