It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
