If that was your dad, he is hot
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
