why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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