Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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