I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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