Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
