Jerry, you need to find god
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
