she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
